For your consideration:

The big deal lately seems to be the similarities between Justin Timberlake's new album and style and those of an old-school Michael Jackson.

Now the similarities are obviously conscious and intentional on Timberlake's part; we are not dealing with subtle little common quirks that could easily slip past his friends, producers and marketing team. We are talking about comprehensive, blatant, catastrophes of style mutual between the two artists.

So what is Timberlake up to? Why does he want to be associated with a man generally considered a total freak by virtually everyone, everywhere? Does he feel his career and musical aspirations are best suited by thematic association with a much-rumored (if legally unimpeachable) child-molester? Does he aspire to a key role in some new generation of Cola-War TV advertising? A ridiculed trip the big screen? Does Timberlake also hope to have a fashion style so frighteningly on the edge that he single-handedly guarantees no one else will ever dress like him? What new variation on the "single white glove" can he provide the masses, that they might immediately fail to emulate it?

I'd like to hope that Justin is really some puppet who outgrew his boy-band usefulness and is being disposed via ignominy; oblivious all the while. But you know that even the publicists are trying to legitimize it. Even Justin's Ex-Beloved Britney is everywhere spouting off about Ol' Pasty Jackson and his influence on her generation. I am Britney's generation, as humbling as that is to admit. Michael Jackson is not an influence on me, or anyone I know. "Billie Jean" is a good song, I don't want to hear more like it from new people! Who would?

I think this is what happens when a boy band collapses: The 3 lamest, least-known members are just jettisoned. Nothing more is ever said about them. The 2 members who have managed to distinguish themselves get be "creative" and pick something new to do. Then whichever one does the best gets the full support of the media machine. I think that with this Michael Jackson fiasco, plus the historical lack of long-term popularity for pretty-boy pop stars, I'd say Joey Fatone has a good shot at it. Lance Bass is trying the "look at me, I'm going to space" ploy from the sidelines, but that's just not going to work. The absolute best he can hope for, fame-wise, is to become the first pop star to die in violent atmospheric re-entry. Poor guy.

Anyhow, I think that a resurgence in popularity for Michael Jackson could be a culturally dangerous thing. So I propose a new campaign to keep him an only semi-respected musical relic at any cost. Our slogan can be "Jacko Is Wacko If You're A Teen" or something snappy like that. And we should only take Justin back if he can produce some "home movies" of Britney, if you know what I am sayin'... like porn, you know. right? Jugs.